My first idol song, series, love. Yume no Tobira, a friend sent it to me as a random youtube whim. And I was mesmerised!
I know what they mean in the show about "shining" because truly, she shone out of my screen and into my heart.
As a failed ballet dancer too, I felt the struggle. I could see her trying to be a good leader, and I wanted to as well. She gave me hope that I could keep dancing despite being ill, injured and beyond my time. It didn't have to be perfect, it just had to make others smile.
And make me smile!
Still, every time I hear her voice I smile. So brightly. And all you've ever done is make me want to make other people smile.
I know I'll never be as bright as you. As the seiyuus, as any other idol I've seen. I know my cosplay is nothing in your image.
And yet when I twirl around in my living room, shouting SUNNY DAY SONG! and clapping my hands, I feel like I'm at the centre of the world. I feel like I can do anything. And you taught me that.
I honestly wasn't that intrested in the song until I heard your solo. It sounds so cliche to say it now but I feel like I knew that we were connected and you would be my best girl. My first. My last. My only.
Sometimes I'm still bedridden from my illness. And I can see your face on the wall, telling me it's okay to fail. For those years in a wheelchair, I could carry your pin around with me, reminding me that I could believe and I'd get another chance.
Every step I take now is a victory. And that makes me smile. I know you'd be proud of me too.
An idols job is to make others smile, and you did that for me in the darkest of times.
I'm new to all stars, but an old SIF veteran. I hope I can just honour you in another way, and make so many more good memories.
Thank you for always taking care of me, and for singing your way into my life.
We really have made a story together! I remember making my first internet friends over SIF, when I couldn't go to see the movie due to living in London, a friend bought me a ticket! And the little dog plushie she bought with her, a substitute for me, came home with a shiny Sunny Day Song Eli SR for me. My prized possesion.
Both a symbol of friendship and love across oceans, something very important to me with not much chance to go outside, and a symbol of how far I'll go for you.
This summer I got to see Aquors in LA. I'm lucky, in that sense, because I got to feel the power of idols. I hope when I sing little covers to the society at university, or I sing to myself in my room, I can shine even a little bit as bright. But I know, to me, you would've shone brighter. You always have. You light me up.
I can be pessimistic, stubborn, and I can get controlling. Sometimes I feel like my way is always right, and it isn't. My way hardly ever is perfect, and is sometimes impossible. But there's always other paths, other ways and other reasons to smile.
Like you. You make me smile.
I hope I can make you smile too, by telling you how much you mean to me.
Please accept my confession!
Happy Birthday Eli.
<3
